‘God bless us, every one!’

Nothing says ‘Christmas in Tory Britain’ quite as loudly as a woman worth well over half a billion pounds sitting in a luxurious gilded interior and quoting the New Testament at a population whose taxes will be used to pay the £369,000,000 needed to renovate the 775-room palace she lives in…

But you can forget all that — because now it’s time for everyody’s favourite multiple-choice seasonal poll! Yes, this blog’s annual exercise in ‘letting the reader decide stuff’ is about to hit the internets!

Here we go…

If the multi-millionaire monarch of a country wracked by manufactured poverty and homelessness wished to appear at once insensitive, tasteless and stupid, what symbol of obscene wealth and wastefulness should she be pictured with…?

Is it:

A) A gold piano of such barbarous gaudiness that not even Donald Trump would give it houseroom…?

Is it:

B) A huge carpet that looks as if a drunken rugby team has used it for a post-curry vomiting competition…?

Or is it:

C) A scarab brooch the value of whose gold, rubies and diamonds would easily buy 10,000 meals for the country’s homeless rough-sleepers…?

Make your choice now…

Merry Christmas, mugs.


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